Yesterday we went to MOPS and even got some Math done in the afternoon. Today we got a whole list of great things accomplished.
PROBLEM: My daughter usually has a pretty good attitude when I say we are going to write a letter, do math, read such and such book etc. (Okay, that part isn’t the problem.) Lately, whenever I ask my son to do something for school, he will rolls his eyes, groan and slouch. I’ve asked him to please try to have a good attitude, I’ve tried to explain that life is not all fun and video games.
ONE HAND: I do think I still need to loosen up and be more unschoolish. In my mind I have a set of subjects and activities that we “must” do a little of each day or else we are “not doing it right.” When maybe I really need to just be feeding him more things that he will devour and love. Maybe more video game books for him to read or a science fiction book. I know he loves writing letters to his great grandmother about his stories and video games (the poor woman.) But if I try to give him something to read for example, that he has no interest in, then there is no motivation there. And I do, above all things, want my children to get the idea that learning is enjoyable.
OTHER HAND: He does need to learn that we’ve got to do things in life that are work and aren’t always fun but must be done.
What’s your opinion?
Sabrina School 
Oh, I feel the same way as you do and will be interested in the responses. My thought about it is if my kids were in school they will have to do things they don’t like, but in homeschooling hopefully we can make those things a little more interesting. Hopefully someone will have a great response to this.
Mmm.. it’s such a balancing act, isn’t it? I’m totally a stranger butting in here. Selah is only 5 and I’ve seen a bit of what you’re talking about. I’m 30 and was homeschooled my whole life. I totally know how he feels, too. Honestly, he’ll get it. You will do a good job and he will be educated. :[) The best thing that I learned from homeschooling wasn’t from a subject or a book. I learned I could learn anthing I was interested in and I didn’t have to rely on a tesxtbook or a certain ‘grade level’ to do it. And no one can tell me I can’t learn without a teacher, because I can teach myself.
Have you asked him what he thinks the perfect way of learning would be? Would it be one subject a day? or a little of each? Would it be books, videos, hands on trips? Maybe he sees learning differently? Not that you should cater to whatever a child wants, but at least be aware as a starting point?
Best of luck and blessings on your Home School
You will have to take what I say with a grain of salt: my mom “unschooled” us, resulting in some pretty sad situations in our family; I escaped my siblings’ fate with the help of an attentive grandmother and some helpful friends whose influence got me into college and out of the “unschooled” world that my poor, uneducated siblings have yet to leave (now in their thirties!).
Now that I have given my disclaimer, here’s my take on the situation:
*If kids had their way, they would eat sweets all day and skip the veggies
*If kids had their way, they wouldn’t do any “hard” schoolwork, only things that interest them
*If kids had their way, no chores would ever be assigned.
I only say this because unschooling in our home resulted in sloppy, obese, unschooled and uneducated adults later in life, but I think you get my drift. Until kids are old enough to learn that the price of success is doing things we don’t always *want* to do, we adults are the mentors, guiding them through the agony of vegetables, homework, and chores until they are old enough to say, “Thanks, mom for teaching me to study, clean, and eat healthily!” And trust me, they WILL say it, whether out loud or in their hearts, every time they see an overweight person, a slovenly home, or the plight of the uneducated in our society!
There are my two cents–don’t know if they are worth much because I am WAY too biased on this topic, but I want to be helpful to somebody! 🙂 Keep up the good work!
In this part of the country, “unschooled” means ZERO schooling. You do have some organized schooling in your home.
My wife does 70-90 % of the schooling in this house. She is very organized and we have a structured curriculum. My job is to tag in when everyone is feeling in a “rut”. My wife and I teach a little differently and the change really makes a difference. Math is never a problem for him. History and Reading is what he rolls his eyes, groans and slouches for.
History is easy. I like to read his material and then we have a discussion about it. I kind of like to do it during dinner after mom and dada are done eating and we are waiting for the kids to finish. I can get him to eat his vegetables as we talk about the subject he is learning and it doesn’t seem like school to him. My wife hasn’t fully grasped that skill yet.
I handle his reading assignments and although he is supposed to do the reading, I will “tag in” for a chapter here or there to shake things up a bit.
I try to find a way to make it seem less structured for him…without him knowing it!
I do not have any friends that home school or even know of very many people that do, so when I have a concern and you respond to it, you have no idea how much that means to me and how helpful it is. On a whole I pretty much agree with EVERYTHING that the four of you said.
Crystal, it makes me feel not so alone to know that you struggle with many of the same things that I do.
Momstinct, I think you hit it on the head when you said that it is such a balancing act.
La Donna Mobile, Thank you for sharing your childhood experience of the way you were “educated.” Wow, I am now even more in awe of how organized and motivated you are.
More than an Electrician, Hmmm, what a good idea. I think I will give one of Luke’s “roll eyes and groan at” subjects to my husband to teach. Hehehe. But seriously, the subject might seem more appealing to him if it meant more dad time.
After reading all of your comments, I feel very motivated and am now armed with new ideas to try!
And just another thought. Honey, you aren’t unschooling. Like others said, unschooling is based on the idea of no structure at all and, while I think it’s an amazing way to begin school (preschool and even kindergarten depending on the child) unschooling can become a trainwreck in a 100% unschooling form at higher grades. What you are doing (in my opinion) is ‘Curiosity Led Education’ or ‘Child Led Education’. It’s when you control the environment but are attentive to your childs interests and giftings. You’re valuing their hearts and encouraging growth.
I’m not Mormon and don’t know how much our beliefs in common, but in the Bible there is an often misunderstood verse ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.’ In my opinion it’s over used, sounds a bit tacky and is misunderstood. But what it means to me (minus the cheese factor) is that each child has a’bend’ a lean towards something that God intended for them. In homeschooling you have an opportunity to discover that and nurture it. To train them in the way THEY, as who they are, should go… I’ll try to keep up on your blog. Off to feed the clan 🙂
Oh, and totally give the hard subject to Dad. They LOVE the dad time!!